Kindness Dinner Parties

For a spreading kindness dinner party the first step is to invite people who are a part of your social circle but are not your closest friends. Tell them that you are inviting them to a dinner where there will be a conversation about kindness. The goal is to have a focused conversation over dinner about kindness. We have found that dinner guests really enjoy the conversation and appreciate the meaningfulness and relevance of the topic. Many later say that they have been kinder and have continued the conversation with family and friends.

Have a good dinner prepared. When you sit down for dinner start the conversation with the questions below, see where the conversation flows. You may get to know these guests at a deeper level while also prompting them to have compassionate thoughts and to initiate kind actions. This is how kindness spreads; one kind act often leads to many more kind actions. Kindness is contagious.

It is important that you have thought about these questions and have ideas that can promote discussion. The dinner host should guide the conversation, ask questions to help a guest clarify their thoughts, share relevant personal insights, and summarize ideas.

Many times a conversation will wander. This is ok. Gently return the focus to the kindness conversation. Kindness touches many other topics and some conversations may naturally shift. Try not to interrupt the natural flow.

Core Questions:

1. What does kindness mean to you? 
2. What is the difference between kindness, compassion and being nice?
3. What is a kind act you have recently witnessed or initiated?  How did this experience make you feel?
4. What can you do to be kinder?  Will this be easy or hard for you?

Other questions to consider:

1. In your personal value hierarchy, how much does kindness matter to you (how do you emphasize kindness)? 
2. Is it easier to be kind to someone you know or to a stranger?  Why?
3. What inhibits someone from initiating a kind act?
4. What is a random act of kindness?
5. What is the relationship between kindness and happiness?
6. Can you imagine a politician whose highest value was kindness?
7. How do you stand up for a person who is being demeaned by someone?
8. How important is kindness to our community?
9. How would a kind community effectively address homelessness?
10. In terms of civic virtues, how important is kindness?
11. How relevant is kindness in a capitalistic culture or in a profit oriented business?

Over dessert you can ask your guests what they have gained from this discussion. See if anyone has an idea for one kind action they will take in the next week.

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